Dragon Age: Origins- Giving the word 'breastplate' a new meaning.

Dragon Age: Origins is another of the games that I got for my birthday. If you’ve read a few of the posts on this blog then you’ve probably realised that I don’t exactly jump on the new releases and give them a ‘first look’ or anything like that. Because of the usual factors (money, time and obsession) I don’t get through all the new titles when they are first released. I tend to only buy a brand new game if it’s something I’ve really been looking forward to or if it’s a game with heavy online-based play, because I’m a goon and play in teams on CoD (Go Clan NEIN!!) I’d like to say that’s about as sad as I could go in this post, but I am discussing Dragon Age: Origins so it’s probably only going to get worse from here. If you’re opposed to a bit of nerdiness then I suggest you turn away before it begins. We’re talking elf sex, more dialogue than an ITV costume drama and a lot of large, identical, aubergine shaped breasticles on both young and old women (sadly not on the men.)

Ok… I’ll give you a moment to try and shake off the aubergine comment… let’s go…

I was looking forward to Dragon Age before its release, but the fact that I knew very little about the actual gameplay and story made other titles come first. This can’t have just been me- the game places you in a world where there are strong political views and racial and class divides that you have no idea about until you’re part way into the game. I played as a City Elf which meant that I began my story (or Origin if you will) in an Alienage, which is where all the city elves were. I had an arranged marriage and was due to meet and wed my betrothed on the same day. I know, I know… pretty heavy for an opening.

Every time you engage in conversation with a character, you have a choice of things to say. There is usually a range of choices which take you down different paths. These usually include a diplomatic choice, a heartless choice and a heroic/considerate choice. More options include persuasion, intimidation or lying, but basically you can be mean, funny, nice or boring. For example: “What’s for breakfast today Darko?”

1. Whatever I give you, you SLAG!
2. A fine selection of homemade jams and a choice of fresh baked bread.
3. Because of the war we have to ration the goods. Every person gets a cheese string each and a can of Relentless.
4. (Persuade) How about you share your breakfast with me?
5. (Intimidate) How about you share your breakfast with me or I’ll stand on your face?
6. (Persuade) (Lie) The cupboards are bare.

How you respond will affect the outcome of the conversation and will also affect how your teammates relate to you. For example when I decided to help some starving people get a good deal on their car ins… I mean food… one of the women in my party liked me -5!! What a cow… Don’t worry though readers, she got what was coming to her: I seduced her, dumped her and killed her mum… take that Morrigan you heartless tart!



Don't get excited, everyone's rudey bits are covered.



These relationships do make a difference to the game and the fact that you actually have choices with real consequences is very refreshing. I may have talked a bit before about empty, meaningless choices in games, but if I haven’t then rest assured, me no likey. If you choose to kill rather than befriend certain people then you will have a smaller team when facing the final battle or if you make certain controversial choices your teammates may leave your party forever or attack you. Maintaining a positive relationship with your team also opens up minor perks such as higher strength or hit points, which is always nice. All in all, very choicey, but no real impending doom for a newbie (Unless you’re Jyggalag and will absolutely die if you don’t get it 100% perfect on your first playthrough). There are also other perks to maintaining a positive relationship with certain members of your party- you can do them. I can assure you right now that there is nothing to get overly excited about. You get someone to like you a bit and depending on how much of a hussy they are you will either get to bed them or enter a relationship with them (and eventually bed them.)

Combat is quite repetitive and consists of pressing X, followed by a variety of R1+square, triangle or circle. There is a radial menu where you can choose from all of your skills, but generally you pick your best skills and assign them for easy access. The combat’s saving grace is the levelling up system. You can choose your type of weapon or magic, equipment, skills and attributes which means you can play through as the same class and race, but still have quite a different experience, if that’s your kind of thing…



This is about as blatantly obvious the titillation gets...
Too bad for the pre-pubescant pervs- its an 18+ game



On to the main event. The main thing to harp on about here is the huge… HUGE story to be found in Dragon Age: Origins. There are very few cutscenes, so most of the story is delivered through conversations which means many more of those lovely choices and consequences. This is either what makes the game so amazing that you can’t stop your lower lip hitting the floor or what makes the game so boring you want to pull off your that same lip just so you have something to throw at the screen. Fortunately for me I loved the conversations and the revelations that came with them, but over time I became very aware that I was basically spending 75% of my time on the game getting talked at by a huge fleshy pair of aubergines badly hidden under useless skimpy “armour”.  

I find it hard to do this game justice, because of just how unusual it is. If you’re an RPG-hater then you should probably stay away (unless you really really like boobs), but other than that I think this game has to be played to appreciate. It doesn’t really match any description I can give it so I’ll just say that it has a little bit of everything. It’s definitely worth a go and even if you don’t love it, you’ll at least find it interesting for a while.


DannyDarko