Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Here we go: MW3 post- Mark II

So I had already written the most beautifully crafted, hilarious, accurate and encapsulating piece on this game, but it somehow got deleted. This means that in true Tenacious D style, I give you the tribute to the greatest post in the world. (Just going to write another piece really..)

He's back and you actually control him this time

In the unlikely event that you are new to the Call of Duty series, then let me give a brief but accurate synopsis of any and all of the games in the series. Call of Duty: *insert number/subtitle here* is a fast-paced, first person shooter that sees military hard men parading round the globe shooting up anyone that looks even remotely eastern. The general gist for the Modern Warfare titles has been that a crazy, sadistic Russian terrorist by the name of Makarov has been traipsing around Europe killing folk with various technologies. Makarov wants to see Russia at war with America and has a pretty good go at making this happen. Modern Warfare 3 runs with this storyline and the whole game is centred around finding Makarov and his lackeys. I may as well not bother with any of this storyline lark, because it is all a ruse. The story is a very minor feature in this game, just like it was in the others. When I'm sneaking through the dusty streets of some African village watching civilians being executed as I stare helplessly, knowing that if I break cover I will be killed, my focus is entirely on the problems at hand. However, when I have finished sneaking through the streets, infiltrating a stronghold and killing the leader of this murderous bunch, the level ends and a loading screen comes up. At this point in time I have a moment to reflect and I wonder to myself... What the bloody hell did that have to do with anything? Oh it was the CoD version of chasing up a bit of intel. Right...

Minor rant aside, I don't mind that the story is so threadbare because quite honestly they could scrap the campaign altogether for all I care and give me twice as many Special Ops. This game mode is the best thing to happen to the series in my opinion because it does away with the silly problem that is plotline and allows CoD to do what it does best: brilliant set pieces that involve stealth, tactics, brute force, vehicles, allies, gadgets and any mix of the lot. The Special Ops mode allows you to feel like a proper military badass and the only bad thing about them in my opinion is that there aren't more of them. And yes, I do think Special Ops is better than zombies- 100% better.

 The graphics haven't seen much of an improvement since Modern Warfare 2, in fact I was shocked at how similar it looked on first sight. I do like the look of the rain dripping from things in the campaign and I'm going to try and figure out how to get a clip of that up just in case anyone else is as painfully sad as me. Not much else to say about looks really, because sadly not much has changed... big downer. On the plus side, however, the guns feel right again and when you look down the sights of an AS50 and pull the trigger you can feel the power. Recoil, bullet damage and knife lunging is all back to normal so for me the gameplay is spot on. One big problem for me is that Sledgehammer have turned the grenade launcher setting from terminate to tickle, which must be a knee-jerk reaction to Blandy's videos.

Multiplayer is obviously a big selling point for this game and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I know that a lot of people seem to have a problem with multiplayer sacrificing single player content (See fullyramblomatic.com) I'm going to leave multiplayer out of it for today, but I will come back to it. I like it, but I'll save it for another time.

The bottom line is that the game has it's flaws. If you want a deep, rich story with complex characters and intricate interlinked plot points then you should be looking at my Heavy Rain post, because you aren't going to find all that in MW3. The gameplay more than makes up for the lack of story, because it constantly entertains. It gives you set piece after brilliant set piece and never really gives you a minute to take a breath. The easiest thing to say is that if you liked MW2 you'll like this, because unfortunately it's very similar. The good thing about that is that MW2 was the best in the series and this one has survival mode too!

DannyDarko x

Dragon Age: Origins- Giving the word 'breastplate' a new meaning.

Dragon Age: Origins is another of the games that I got for my birthday. If you’ve read a few of the posts on this blog then you’ve probably realised that I don’t exactly jump on the new releases and give them a ‘first look’ or anything like that. Because of the usual factors (money, time and obsession) I don’t get through all the new titles when they are first released. I tend to only buy a brand new game if it’s something I’ve really been looking forward to or if it’s a game with heavy online-based play, because I’m a goon and play in teams on CoD (Go Clan NEIN!!) I’d like to say that’s about as sad as I could go in this post, but I am discussing Dragon Age: Origins so it’s probably only going to get worse from here. If you’re opposed to a bit of nerdiness then I suggest you turn away before it begins. We’re talking elf sex, more dialogue than an ITV costume drama and a lot of large, identical, aubergine shaped breasticles on both young and old women (sadly not on the men.)

Ok… I’ll give you a moment to try and shake off the aubergine comment… let’s go…

I was looking forward to Dragon Age before its release, but the fact that I knew very little about the actual gameplay and story made other titles come first. This can’t have just been me- the game places you in a world where there are strong political views and racial and class divides that you have no idea about until you’re part way into the game. I played as a City Elf which meant that I began my story (or Origin if you will) in an Alienage, which is where all the city elves were. I had an arranged marriage and was due to meet and wed my betrothed on the same day. I know, I know… pretty heavy for an opening.

Every time you engage in conversation with a character, you have a choice of things to say. There is usually a range of choices which take you down different paths. These usually include a diplomatic choice, a heartless choice and a heroic/considerate choice. More options include persuasion, intimidation or lying, but basically you can be mean, funny, nice or boring. For example: “What’s for breakfast today Darko?”

1. Whatever I give you, you SLAG!
2. A fine selection of homemade jams and a choice of fresh baked bread.
3. Because of the war we have to ration the goods. Every person gets a cheese string each and a can of Relentless.
4. (Persuade) How about you share your breakfast with me?
5. (Intimidate) How about you share your breakfast with me or I’ll stand on your face?
6. (Persuade) (Lie) The cupboards are bare.

How you respond will affect the outcome of the conversation and will also affect how your teammates relate to you. For example when I decided to help some starving people get a good deal on their car ins… I mean food… one of the women in my party liked me -5!! What a cow… Don’t worry though readers, she got what was coming to her: I seduced her, dumped her and killed her mum… take that Morrigan you heartless tart!



Don't get excited, everyone's rudey bits are covered.



These relationships do make a difference to the game and the fact that you actually have choices with real consequences is very refreshing. I may have talked a bit before about empty, meaningless choices in games, but if I haven’t then rest assured, me no likey. If you choose to kill rather than befriend certain people then you will have a smaller team when facing the final battle or if you make certain controversial choices your teammates may leave your party forever or attack you. Maintaining a positive relationship with your team also opens up minor perks such as higher strength or hit points, which is always nice. All in all, very choicey, but no real impending doom for a newbie (Unless you’re Jyggalag and will absolutely die if you don’t get it 100% perfect on your first playthrough). There are also other perks to maintaining a positive relationship with certain members of your party- you can do them. I can assure you right now that there is nothing to get overly excited about. You get someone to like you a bit and depending on how much of a hussy they are you will either get to bed them or enter a relationship with them (and eventually bed them.)

Combat is quite repetitive and consists of pressing X, followed by a variety of R1+square, triangle or circle. There is a radial menu where you can choose from all of your skills, but generally you pick your best skills and assign them for easy access. The combat’s saving grace is the levelling up system. You can choose your type of weapon or magic, equipment, skills and attributes which means you can play through as the same class and race, but still have quite a different experience, if that’s your kind of thing…



This is about as blatantly obvious the titillation gets...
Too bad for the pre-pubescant pervs- its an 18+ game



On to the main event. The main thing to harp on about here is the huge… HUGE story to be found in Dragon Age: Origins. There are very few cutscenes, so most of the story is delivered through conversations which means many more of those lovely choices and consequences. This is either what makes the game so amazing that you can’t stop your lower lip hitting the floor or what makes the game so boring you want to pull off your that same lip just so you have something to throw at the screen. Fortunately for me I loved the conversations and the revelations that came with them, but over time I became very aware that I was basically spending 75% of my time on the game getting talked at by a huge fleshy pair of aubergines badly hidden under useless skimpy “armour”.  

I find it hard to do this game justice, because of just how unusual it is. If you’re an RPG-hater then you should probably stay away (unless you really really like boobs), but other than that I think this game has to be played to appreciate. It doesn’t really match any description I can give it so I’ll just say that it has a little bit of everything. It’s definitely worth a go and even if you don’t love it, you’ll at least find it interesting for a while.


DannyDarko

Final Fantasy XIII

I heard a lot about this game before I played it. I saw very good previews and lots of material promoting its release, but I didn't buy it when it was first released. I always planned to and I was embarrassingly quoted in the Official Playstation Magazine (OPM) declaring my excitement on Facebook... I can't remember the exact phrasing but it included a reference to me wetting myself. Anyway, I didn't buy it, because I was busy and penniless and there were other games etc. This turned out to be a good thing. I heard so many negative comments about the game that I was quickly beginning to lose interest in the game. I knew that I would get around to it eventually, but the horrible things people had told me about it gave me no reason whatsoever to rush.

I had heard that the story was ridiculous and unengaging, the characters were stupid and weird (look at what you're buying people, its Square Enix!), the battle system was a step in the wrong direction and most frequently I was told that the game was linear. Obviously all of these points escaped the mind of the OPM reviewer, but how was I to know who to listen to? Usually I find that the reviews I read are accurate, but the previews are extremely unreliable. I don't think that previews are deliberately misleading, but more naively hopeful in regards to a game's potential. One game springs to mind... AVATAR!!! Amazing ideas, amazing previews, amazing story to work from and what did we end up with?! It was like going downstairs on Christmas day, pulling the ribbon from a gigantic, shiny, colourful gift box, opening the box and.... seeing another box, slightly less pristine, more weathered. Inside this one there's another shabby box... Several smaller, dirtier boxes later you end up with a tiny greasy matchbox in your hand.. you clutch it, knowing that this is the last box and your long awaited gift will finally be revealed. You slide back the outer sleeve of the box to reveal.... a little crusty gerbil turd. Introducing Avatar the Game.

Ok. Back to Final Fantasy XIII. The dilemma I had (very lengthily dramatized above) was that the previews had been very flashy and exciting, which is what geared me up for the release. This was all fine, but as soon as I heard negative things about the game from others, I was immediately doubtful. The ugly, dysfunctional, mentally ill ghost of Avatar hung over me as a reminder that I'd been betrayed once before. Long story short, I never got around to buying the game, but someone else did that for me. Thank you Emily. A good 50+ hours of gameplay later, here I am with my verdict.

'Misfits' is putting it gently

It's true, it's true, the first 6-8 hours of the game are prescriptive and you can't choose your team or your direction. This is obviously what caused people to brand the game as linear. It is. If the last Square Enix (previously Squaresoft) game you played was Final Fantasy VII then you won't find a similar open ended, world map experience. You might get a bit of de ja vu including a blonde soldier, a black gunman and a train, but you won't get a world map. The story line is much the same as always, a group of misfits brought together by fate and forced to go on a journey to save the world. However, the fact that 99% of the dialogue in this game is actually dialogue and not a blue text box means that it is possible to follow the cutscenes and conversations without needing laser eye surgery afterwards. The story is confusing and the twists and turns don't always make much sense, but to me that felt like part of the game- your characters had no idea why they were fighting, but they just went with what felt right. When new information was revealed, a new course of action began, which made the sidebars in the story crucial to the main plot. All in all, the story is enough, I think, to get you through to the end.

Next on the agenda is the way this game looks. This part is going to be very short, because frankly, it is immense. The cutscenes are beautiful and dynamic, the locations are varied and colourful, the characters have finally been successfully lip-synced to English dialogue and the monsters and enemies are visible before you enter battle, looking just as exceptional before as they do during battle. I cannot complain about the visuals in this game. Along with the soundtrack, sound effects and dialogue, the flawlessness of the graphics makes this game unbelievably immersive and actually breathtaking. (I know how cliched that sounds, but play the game, go to Pulse and stand on the edge of a cliff- you will be back here commenting on how much you agree.)

Pulse- This doesn't even do it justice

The gameplay, in terms of battles and clearing different areas can be repetetive, but by the time you've spent an hour or so playing, you'll know how you feel about that. I think that because of the new battle system and the ranking system based on time, the pressure to kill quickly and efficiently means you are always thinking and engaged, rather than leaning a lamp on the X button while you make a cup of tea. The linear nature of the game, while being a shock to the system, does fit perfectly with how the story unfolds. Your character has no idea how long they have left before they fail their quest, so it always feels like a race against time. This understandably means that pratting around with sidequests is not high up in the priority list. The treasure hunting and sidequests do open up after the main portion of the game is finished, so any die hard Final Fantasy perfectionists can still master everything (and will have to if they want all the trophies/achievements.)

I feel as though I've been a bit defensive in this post. I love this game and I would recommend that any Final Fantasy fan or avid gamer at least give it a try. I heard many negative opinions about various aspects of the game, but none of them stuck with me after playing it. The most detestable opinion I encountered was that the Leona Lewis song 'My Hands' didn't fit with the feel of the game and its conclusion. I denounce this opinion to the ends of the earth and hold you nay sayers in utter comtempt... you know who you are! I love almost everything about it and my only regret is that I don't have enough time to finish all of the side quests. There is one feature that irritated me beyond belief however... the death of the player character means Game Over, even if the others survive. Oh and another rubbish feature of the game... Sazh.

DannyDarko

Also if you want to check out some of the negative points I talked about... watch the review by Zero Punctuation: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1569-Final-Fantasy-XIII